This was originally going to be put up on Patreon for one of my October 2015 stories. My one and only backer at the time requested I do something with Sadie and a supernatural menace while she made a late night snack. This is what ended up coming out though. Hopefully, she enjoys it.
In the months since Grimluk had left the town, the citizens of Greenreach Bluffs had had to contend with a horde of small nuisances during the day while hiding in Ivor Danshor’s temple and the mines at night to avoid the more dangerous creatures of the Wastelands. As the town attempted to rebuild, Sadie, former housekeeper and cook for Mayor Kenton Selbie and now the sole occupant of the mayor’s residence, took solace in baking for the town. She tried to prepare meals that would last the workers and Watchmen for a day or two and would join the others with pies and pastries to help keep morale up.
And then the gremlins showed up and her kitchen began falling apart. It started small. She’d turn away, looking for a spoon or an egg or seasoning, and something would be missing. She realized what was happening some time later after wandering into the cellar and getting locked in, malicious little feet pattering away with mischievous laughs echoing back at her. The finally let her out, scattering as she burst out with a hammer in hand. Little green and black and yellow and gray bodies fleeing from her reach, still laughing. The oven had been disassembled and flipped upside down. Sadie’s patience was already thin to begin with after being trapped but now it was war.
She spent the rest of the afternoon thanking the gods for being a halfling so she could crawl in and out of cabinets and swing her mighty hammer at the pesky little bastards. She missed. Every single time. But for the moment, it felt good.
Unfortunately, numbers weren’t in her favor and the infestation was quickly spiraling out of control. A handful became dozens. She swore they were working in shifts and teams designed to maximize her frustration. She won her first victory one night though as she managed to sneak up on a particularly unintelligent gremlin rolling an egg back and forth across one of the counters. By the time it realized it was in trouble, she’d brought her hammer down with a satisfying crunch. Sure, the little gremlin guts and blood weren’t so pleasant but she’d nailed one of those fuckers and now the rest knew she could do it.
She got three more a few days later, blinding them with flour and scooping them up in the empty sack. Never in her life had she taken such joy in shaking anything. Sadie shook and shook and shook until her arms ached and she let loose all of her frustrations on the trio. In the end, instead of smashing them or coming up with some cruel punishment to celebrate their demise, she wrapped another sack over the first and tossed them outside of the town gate at dusk, hoping maybe something worse would eat them and be appeased for the night.
When she returned the next day, the front door had vanished. In its place was a piece of paper pinned to the floor with a rock. Hasty scribbles covered the paper. She sighed, surmising that her diminutive foes were letting her know that she hadn’t run them off. She never did find the door either. An hour after searching the house, she decided to offer a truce. She stood in the sitting room and offered to make the gremlins treats if only they would behave themselves and buzz off. She got her answer in the form of one of the larger gremlins scampering out of a hole and pointing her to the kitchen. She made a half-dozen pies for them, leaving after her work was done in hopes that all would be forgiven.
Upon return, the pies had been eaten and used to pain crude pictures of gremlins and the kitchen had been completely dismantled. That’s when Sadie decide to visit Orn Shatterstone. Greenreach Bluffs was defeated and she was ready to leave but not before she blew the fucking house up along with every one of those furry little bastards. If she wanted to be treated like crap and screwed with while cooking, she could go find work at a saloon or a hotel or even resume her work as a housekeeper for someone else. By then, most of the town had packed up and left. Only Ivor, the miners, and Trilgor and some of his Watchmen remained. Orn was only too happy to help with the demolition.
Sadie laughed to herself as Orn pitched a fat sticks of his special dynamite into and under the house. Everyone left had joined them, ready to see the show. The explosions went off one after the other, louder than anyone expected. A small dust storm kicked up as a result and debris rained down from above. Once the dust settled and they got a look at the ruined structure.
Sadie let out a happy sigh. “Nothing says fresh start like destroying a house.”