adventures in life

Fall Newsletter

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There’s not a lot to report for the fall. I’ve stalled out on the new book for the time being. Life has been lifeing extra hard lately. With all that in mind, the major thing to report is that I’ve decided to take a tech break for October. Extremely limited social media use, no tiktok, limit gaming or viewing time to two or three hours a day, bar myself from a big swath of the internet. Ideally, my choices will be Work, Create, Exercise, Rest, or Read. My nerves have been fried most of the year and I just need to try to reset myself.

For the folks on my Patreon, this mostly means I’ll try to actually post some drabbles while I play with trying to write new types of stuff. I’m still figuring out what I want my schedule to look like for the month but I’m about to have a lot more space to fill if I’m not just sitting on youtube or tiktok or whatever. I’ll forced out of procrastination habits (I hope). Maybe I’ll try using some writing prompts again. Don’t know. Gonna be a bit of an adventure.

Wish me luck!

Spring Newsletter

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Tryin’ to Persist Over Here!

Holy shit. Why is this year? WHAT is this year? It’s only April!? I expected some fuckery when the Idiot Reich took over but fuuuuuck am I tired.

This will be one of my least favorite types of newsletters: where I have very little to tell anyone. I’ve been making progress on The Secrets of Bloodhenge, but even there, less than I’d like. Only another 10K words since January. Which, okay, that’s still ten THOUSAND more words than I had at the start of the year, but I was hoping to be into the 50Ks by now. I guess that’s still pretty good given the horrors persisting and my attempt to do so as well. Honestly, my mental health is still not the best and my sleep is still not the best and I’m still not sure how to fix things there. And it doesn’t help that we’ve got the full fascist breakdown of this country and everything that comes with it, including the likelihood that I may very well not have insurance by the end of the year.

I did decide to book a spot with my editor and my artist for next summer. The idea was maybe if I have them booked, it would help spur me on to get more words done. I’m still hoping maybe I can finish the first draft by the fall, take a month off, and start the second draft. I could plan the Kickstarter while doing that, launch Spring 2026, and try to release in Orctober as I have since 2016.

Everything is hard but I’m trying to find the little joys where I can. I’m trying to remember to get off social media and outside again and move my body and be social. It’s still hard to do the social part sometimes because, as some of you may remember, there’s still a fucking plague about. Turns out, it’s just real hard to live your life with all of THIS going on and not just stick your head in the sand about it. None of this is good for anyone’s mental health.

So this is all the update I have for now. Please take care of yourselves. As I keep saying, hold tight to love and hope and community. It’s the only way to survive.

Oh yeah, and this summer will mark the 10th anniversary of A Demon in the Desert so that’s…wow, that’s something. I should probably do something for that.

Until then, go listen to Myth Carver, a new epic heavy metal band out of Texas with some absolutely TASTY fuckin’ riffs. Highly recommend!

Winter Newsletter

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The End of 2024

Today is a new day in a new year. Two thousand and twenty-five of the Common Era. Sure to be a year of big changes, though few of them as were even imagined fifty years ago. By 1975, the views of the future being like the Jetsons, a show set in 2004, had fallen away. The 80s saw a small resurgence in what the 2000s might look like. Blade Runner was set in 2019. Back to the Future 2 partially took place in 2015. But even with electric cars running around, 2025 looks…the same. No flying cars, no holographic 3D movies (though we might be thankful for that one), something called a hoverboard that doesn’t really hover, no factory built people. Curiously, the thing Back to the Future got right is the Nostalgia Industry that’s built up.

But, the world just feels the same as it has. That’s what it feels like 2025 will be for me. The same as it’s been the last four years before. I’ll be turning 40 in the summer and…I don’t feel like that’s coming. In a lot of ways, I still feel like a stupid, wayward 20-year old trying to figure out what the fuck to do with myself and my life. There are differences but some of them feel so similar that it seems only aesthetic. There are actual differences though. Things are just still difficult and hard and likely to get harder soon. But, this isn’t about the future, it’s about the past year.

I started 2024 with a burst of power. December 2023 saw me have my big realization after finishing Hbomberguy’s Plagiarism video. I felt renewed, I felt excited. I started The Secrets of Bloodhenge in earnest and moved forward into full production. I thought I would have this book ready to put out in 2025 for sure. But it was not to be. My mental health did an about face for a few months between March and June due to some things going on in my personal life. Then I rolled into July and had to junk the van and we had to figure out how to buy a new car. It took a major toll on my partner, who was already at the edge of burnout. The whole experience seems to have pushed them over that edge, bringing changes to their mental health that are still a struggle to deal with. Things that effect me in material ways. And that’s not even touching some of the struggles I continue to deal with with my own physical and mental health.

Truth is, sometimes I still think about giving up on the whole pro writer thing. I stay exhausted so much and I don’t know how to fix it anymore. But I can’t really. I need the money that comes from Patreon too badly. Book sales barely factor into my budget, to be honest. I’m stuck in a rut at the moment. I know where I’m going in the the book, I know where I need to go, I’ve taken notes on things I need to change in the next draft, but the energy to work is missing. And yet, both for my career and finances, I need to finish this book to the best of my ability and for it to have a successful crowdfunding campaign. Ouroboros of suck. It’s a little easier to focus on making art than it was before but…

But, I’ve got my local community, I’ve got my online community, my writer friends. I can do this. I think it’s just going to have to be slower than I want. Especially slower than Amazon wants. But hey, in good news, I’m starting treatment for the neuropathy in my feet and by all accounts, I should start seeing relief in the near future and by the end, be nearly pain free! That should help immensely in a lot of ways as chronic pain is a black hole, even when it’s only just minor pain. Dealing with it all day, every day, but especially when I’m trying to sleep is hell. So the end of 2024 isn’t all bad.

So where am I going from here? The major things, especially with turning 40 this year, is a major focus on my physical health. I won’t bore you with specific goals but I’m a little desperate to fix a few things and nail some goals and I think that’s going to have to be my major priority going forward. All of that should help with what matters to my readers, though.

The big one: finish The Secrets of Bloodhenge. Finishing the first draft is the hardest part. Everything after that gets progressively easier to deal with (even when it’s not actually easy). I wish I could say I was halfway done with it but at 32K words, I think, the way it’s shaping up, I might only be a third done. I still think this is gonna end up bigger than the last two Grimluk books. I wonder if it’ll make me finally hit 100K in a completed work. We shall see.

And speaking of Grimluk: I want to finish pre-production for Grimluk 5. I’m roughly halfway done. I realized at some point in the middle of 2024 that my “story summaries” are actually just rough drafts. They’re too long to be anything else and I use them too extensively to help form what goes into the first draft and the rough draft for this one (which has a title) is somewhere in what I think is the middle of the book. Admittedly, and I think I’ve said this already, I’ve had a lot of Grimluk 5 bouncing around my head since I started working on Demon Haunted. I’ll get there. It’s just a lot of working learning about a whole new world, with so many vast new shiny bits to play with. Grimluk is relatively consistent now. I’ll get there.

And to help me get there? I need to read again. I want to read again. I miss it. It helps fill up the creative juices, too. Which is why I’m sharing it. I’ve basically only read comic books for the past two or three years, with the occasional novel sprinkled in. In 2023, I finished the year reading A Princess of Mars. This year, I’ve only read He-Man comics as a means of inspiration and I stopped doing that in June so I’ve read 7 of my 12 for Goodreads yearly challenge. I need words. What does that mean? Am I going to just start devouring books again despite my brain’s apparent refusal to do so? No. No, I need to make this goal something small and achievable. The goal is just to read at least 30 minutes a day. Whether short or long form, just 30 minutes. If it takes me a few days to read 10 thousand words, then so be it. That’s the goal.

And finally, I need to embrace just writing for fun. Drabbles, flash fics, random scenes, whatever. Visual artists sketch, I bet sculptors will just play with clay sometimes (or whatever other media they might use), and since I’ve chosen to be a wordsmith, I feel like I need to dedicate myself to that more and the best way to do it is to actually set aside time to just do shit for myself. Or use time I’d otherwise be on tiktok or instagram to make some words. Doesn’t hurt that the US has officially banned Tiktok for spreading support for Palestine privacy issues, and will be shutting down US servers in the near future but hey, I’m an artist, right?

So that’s where I’ve been in 2024 and that’s where I hope to go in 2025. I want to tell you, if you’ve been following me for a while, if you’re a paying patron or just like to keep tabs on me, thank you. Thank you thank you thank you. I hope you’ll keep stickin with me. I hope your year was a good one. I hope the following year will be just as good, if not better. Take care of yourselves and remember to always be excellent to each other.

Fall Newsletter

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It’s October! The Spookiest and most Orc-tastic month! Usually, it would also be my most comfortable month with the weather but uh, it’s supposed to get up to 90 again this week. Sucks! Here’s hoping Actual Fall rolls in soon.

Music

I honestly haven’t been listening to one artist or another in particular since the last time I shared something. While writing, it’s still been a lot of Bear McCreary because of the playlist I started building for Gruflek. And now that we’re deep into Fall, I’m rocking my spooky season radio on Pandora. There is, of course, also the Pizza Thrash playlist I made and was shouting about in August (that I can’t add anything else too because I accidentally made the total playtime 4 hours and 20 minutes). Buuuut, it is the Halloween season so let’s talk about a band I’ve been listening to for a long time now who’s been putting out Halloween tunes for nearly 20 years: Creature Feature.

Well, I say band, but as I go look in on them again, it seems that at some point around the third album, it seems the keyboardist and other half of the original duo, Erik X, left and now it’s just singer/guitarist/composer Curtis RX running things. Though I suspect it was mostly always his baby anyways. Back in 2006 they dropped their first album (just before reissuing it with some minor changes the next year), The Greatest Show Unearthed. I discovered them through a friend’s ex that year. They’re very synth-driven for a horror punk band. The guitars are far, far less aggressive for the more straightforward punk fare and sit somewhere like The Cure but edgier. They’ve got songs referencing everything spooky. The Twilight Zone, Edward Gorey, John Carpenter, everything you could think of. But, most importantly, they’re fun. They’re just plain fun and a welcome addition to your spooky season rotation.

News

What’s new for news? I guess the most important thing to bring up is that The Secrets of Bloodhenge is over the 32 thousand word make. The exact number is in the sidebar to the right. I’ve only managed roughly 6000 since early June, which I don’t like but given how the summer went, it is what it is. July rolled around and knocked the wind out of my sails with car problems. Ended up having the junk the van and then my partner and I had to figure out something new. This was extremely stressful, to say the least. Was also experimenting with stepping off one of my meds and it didn’t go well so July was basically a big nothing for anything but a new car and trying to get some of my health straightened out.

August was a lot better and I made a good chunk of progress there, while still figuring out more health stuff. It never stops, the health stuff. I am currently waiting to see if my insurance is going to cover a new med the doc wants me on. It’s been a few weeks since I saw her now so who knows that’s going to happen. Regardless, I started losing steam as September went on. I haven’t written much the past two weeks. I know why. It’s a familiar scenario and I’m talking about it in therapy. My creative fuel tank is running on fumes again. On top of my own health stuff, my partner has some of their own going on and it’s affecting me as well, especially with sleep. On top of that, since money has been extra tight thanks to the new car and the subsequent bump to the cost of car insurance (a pretty big one at that). There’s also been a lovely new covid wave rolling through the country, both conspiring to make sure I basically sit at home and rot. The first time I went out after the car situation got sorted out, someone there reported they’d tested positive for covid so I spent the next week waiting to see if I had caught it too, which just further pushed me into not going out.

So, basically, I’m heavily stagnated at the moment and not really getting what I need to create. I’m desperate to figure out some way to get back into reading as well as I’m still struggling to do that at all. I’ll figure it out. I have before. At least this time it’s not an overwhelming anxiety holding me back, it’s just purely an empty tank. I don’t think Hbomberguy can fix this one, though.

That’s all the news that’s worth sharing. I wish there was more and better. Ah well. Take care of yourselves, have a safe and happy Orctober and Halloween!

New Year Newness

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It’s been a…few months since I posted anything over here. Last year was kind of a lot. Like…a lot. My partner spent the first half of the year dealing with health problems but we didn’t know they were health problems until mid-July. I spent most of the fall trying to fix some health stuff that turned out to be medication side effects. As some of you may know, I’m diabetic. I’ve been trying to get a handle on my blood sugar again and part of that was being put on Ozempic. You might recognize that as the hot new fad weight loss drug. It is, in fact, a diabetes medication. It also fucking sucks. Do not recommend.

After that, my social life took an unexpected but very welcome shift. I’ll talk about that another time as the road getting to this shift is its own story. But it’s all good stuff.

And what else has happened? Well, I posted most of what I went through over on Patreon. I spent part of the summer being productive until the Ozempic fully knocked me on my ass and once I got off that I started dealing with some of my issues with my lack of writing and the giant fucking wall of suck I felt stuck behind. I wrote about those struggles here. After that, I basically spent November and December trying to think and enjoy the new people in my life and soak up all the time I could with them.

And early December, something finally shook loose. That wall of suck fell away. The size of it even shrunk. And a few things finally clicked into place for one of projects I’d been trying to get off the ground. You can read about all that here. I finished the year feeling good, feeling hopeful, and ready to go. And hey, wouldn’t ya fuckin’ know it, giving myself a little grace with my word count goals as I get back into the swing of things has been good and I’ve got the first 1500 words down for this new book. The He-Man/Stargate/John Carter mashup idea I’ve talked about previously. I’ve also got the next Grimluk book in preproduction. I’m hoping to get them both done this year but I’m more focused on the new character at the moment so we’ll see.

So that’s pretty much all the noise that’s worth sharing at the moment. At least without getting into lots of details and I don’t feel like digging into all that and you probably don’t want to read it. So here’s to a potentially great 2024. Despite everything that’s happening with the socio-political-economic climate…and the literal climate, I going to make this year a good one for me personally. Here’s hoping you can do the same.

Summer Updates

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What’s up, my lovelies. Hope you’re doing well. Hope you’re not roasting alive in the summer heat. It’s currently a big fat 100F here in Tulsa and I hate it.

So, some updates. Diabetes is gettin managed. Been doing rehab on my shoulder and making progress. Started rehab on my legs, slower progress but also only started two weeks ago and I’ve been trying to figure out my daily schedule. Sleep is mostly good, though I’m wondering if I’ll need to do another sleep study next year. Therapy is going well.

So, if you didn’t see on Twitter or even Tumblr, I’ve posted a few stories up on Patreon based on writing prompts from r/writingprompts. They’ve been fun and a nice, easy way to get back into the groove of things. I’m still struggling a bit with choosing a new novel project to start. Most of that struggle is the same as it has been but with less burnout and more just struggling to figure out what I want. It’s a bit frustrating.

Currently trying to decide between Grimluk 5, and the Orc John Carter Stargate He-Man thing. Though one of the Patreon stories could also be a thing pretty easily now but I would definitely want that one to be a comic book so I’d have to track down an artist and that seems like a lot of work right now. We’ll see where I land. Worst case, I’ll pick something for Nanowrimo and just run.

Oh and I also deleted my discord server. It mostly saw use while I was trying to be a streamer and had sat dead for a year. That’s fine.

Anywho, figured I should send one of these out about now. Take care of yourselves in this heat. Go watch My Adventures With Superman. And don’t forget to be excellent to each other and party on.

News

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Been a while. Have some news.

I thought maybe I’d announce this finally. I recently went looking through my story ideas file and saw one that creeps into my mind every so often. I got to thinkin about it again and decided it would make a great project for Patreon. So here’s what’s I’m gonna do…

Starting in September, I’ll be starting a new episodic story. A reverse portal fantasy about an orc from Arkod’s (that’s the name of Grimluk’s home planet in case you forgot) past gets sucked into modern day America. This will be a slice of life kind of thing. Going from flash fiction to short story length. Very rare on the action. I want to get writing again but my book projects seem too big still. And since I have been too quiet this year, this should be a win-win for my patrons. So far, the folks I’ve talked to about the idea really like it. I hope that continues. I just want something a bit softer and easier right now. And this will be a Patreon exclusive, too.

I don’t know if I’ll do much in the way of new D&D homebrew for the foreseeable future either. I may eventually do some more Battle of the Bands stuff but considering how precarious scheduling is for my gaming group right now, I’m not sure when or if my first foray into DMing is going to happen. But, ya know, worst case, I make it into its own book. Maybe do a kickstarter for it. Who knows.

I also had an ADHD eval on Monday and, for the third time, was told that while I have symptoms, it’s all depression, anxiety, and trauma. So I’m going to be trying a higher dosage of the drug I take as a sleep aid, since it’s actually an early psych med. Supposedly the bigger dose will help me sleep even more than the baby dose, which I desperately want right now. Here’s hoping things improve. The past few weeks have felt particularly bad for me being able to get stuff done.

So that’s where I’m at right now. Still trying to get my bodily and mental health taken care of. Gonna work on this new project for the time being. And yes, there will be a new book eventually. Who knows, if the increased medication works, my production schedule could actually become an actual, stable schedule. I’ve got The Once and Future Slayer ready to start and the Crimson Warrior (or whatever I end up calling it) is also ready to go. Grimluk 5 is like half-formed in my head already, I just need to actually set up an outline, do all the preproduction stuff I do.

And to reiterate, the new slice of life stories? Patreon exclusives, which you can keep up with for just $1 a month. Link in the sidebar.

Hope you’re doing well. I hope your summer treated you well, and if it didn’t, I hope the fall treats you better. Be safe, be kind, be excellent.

A Few Updates

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Hey all. Got a few things to share real fast.

First up, I added a D&D page to my Works section for any homebrew stuff I make as well as Amazon Affiliate links to the 5e books as well as some dice and accessories. Affiliate links also don’t mean you have to buy that stuff. If you click one of my affiliate links and make ANY purchase without closing the tab, it works. I also updated my Amazon book links with affiliate links. I may occasionally post stuff I’ve bought and found useful as well.

Next, Patreon. Actually, this is connected with another issue. On Wednesday, I received a letter about my SNAP renewal letting me know my benefits were being lowered due to a household size change. I have no idea how that happened, if I messed something up or what, but my benefits are being cut until I can get them appealed. In the mean time, I’m asking folks to become patrons on Patreon as it’s the most direct way I can get cash each month (book sales are staggered).

Now with that, I’m also expanding what I offer on Patreon. You can find more in-depth detail about this on Patreon but the TL;DR is there’s a new Gwen story coming in May, I’ll be letting patrons get way more of a look behind the curtain of my books, which may involve spoilers sometimes but I’ll tag them when it happens. I’ll be adding game design and development stuff as well, and, provided I can afford it, cooking videos, especially for diabetic recipe experiments now that I’ll have an actual kitchen of my own again when we move next week.

I’m also planning on sprucing up the way my Patreon looks, make it a little more interesting, update the information, etc..With The Demons Within set for release in October, I really want to make 2018 a big year for me and grow my little empire as best I can. I hope you’ll join me.

Plans for 2018

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I have high hopes for 2018. At least, I do for my personal life. Some hope is creeping in for life in the US but it’s a cautious hope. There are still some major issues. Nici is transitioning to a new antidepressant and dealing with their thyroid issues. My car is still dead and I’ll be junking it soon (if you’d like to help with the car situation, click here or become a Patreon patron). There’s still a few other lingering healthcare needs we can’t afford to take care of. But things are looking up. As such, I decided I wanted 2018 to be a year of reclaiming things I’ve lost. On top of continuing to move forward with Grimluk, I’m planning on getting back into drawing and guitar.

Drawing and writing are my oldest creative endeavors and drawing was the oldest. As a little Ashe, you could give me paper and pencils and I would keep myself busy with doodles. I got pretty good, too, though at the age of 14, what I needed to get better was an actual, for real art teacher who could lead me in figure drawing and help me refine my skill. Unfortunately, 14 is also when Life started punching hard and by 17, I had given up drawing. By 18, I had thrown away my art supplies. Depression, and a lack of proper instruction, had utterly robbed me of the will to continue on. I tried again at 19, taking an art class in college but it was no better than my art class in high school and I once again gave up.

Guitar helped me weather depression some but there were still some issues and then I got my shoulder fucked up working a temp job. I got a repetitive stress injury that even pushed my collarbone out of alignment. The pain is way less these days unless I use my shoulder too much or in the wrong way. This meant that my endurance at playing disappeared and my desire to play started to evaporate too. I also had an amp that I hated and that contributed to my waning desire. The amp changed in 2012 when I found a used Carvin V3 2×12 combo for $500 at the Tulsa Guitar Center, an amp I had lusted after since it’s inception. I’ve never really gotten to give it a proper play. (A note for gearheads: I still lust after an original Peavey Triple XXX)

So a big part of reclaiming those things will also be reclaiming some of my lost physical health. As Nici’s health improves, I’m hoping that we can attempt to start doing DDP Yoga together. That will be contingent on the fatigue issues going away, but I’m hopeful.

So that’s what I’m after in my personal life. What about professionally?

Well, Grimluk is gonna keep moving forward. The Demons Within will drop in October and I’ll probably get back to work on Grimluk 4 later in the year. I’m hoping to find avenues of promotion, to get the word out in greater numbers. I’m sure I’ll come up with some other things as well. I’m also gonna take some time at some point and do up some plot skeletons for Grimluk 5 and some other ideas I’ve had churning away. I won’t start anything new until after Grimluk 5 though. Once that comes out, I’ll take a bit of a break, introduce a new project or two, and then start on Grimluk 6.

And in case it hasn’t been made clear yet, Grimluk is gonna go a long time. We’re going Dresden levels at the very least, if not Vampire Hunter D.

Orctober for 2018 will also probably be focused on the release of The Demons Within, with some extra guest stuff again as well. Always gotta have my fellow orc-writers show up. I’ll be planning that out in more detail in the spring, after I’ve sent Demons off to Laura Hughes for editing. If there’s anything anyone would like to see this year, leave a comment or tweet me or somethin.

Overall, it’s a pretty straightforward year, but if something big pops up, I’ll welcome it.

So those are my plans for 2018. I hope your own year will shape up well and I hope you find yourself in good fortune, friends and readers. You survived 2017 and that makes you mighty.

2017 Year In Review

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This year. This fucking year. What a dumpster fire. Mostly. It feels like this one year has lasted for five. And while the socio-political aspects of the year bear most of that weight, there was some good that happened as well. I want to take the time to talk about my own year as it’s be quite a roller coaster as well.

The beginning of the year saw my partner, Nici, and I waiting to move away from my parents and back here to Tulsa with their mother. In February, we started our first D&D campaign with some friends, which definitely helped ease the stress of Darth Cheetoh pretending to be president and my stepfather’s continued…eccentricities. On top of that, I was still hard at work on the first draft of The Demons Within. We finally got to leave in April and, on top of coming back home to Tulsa, I’m still pretty proud of the fact that I managed to not only drive a moving truck for the first time but also did it while towing my van. That was a long 14 hours and I never want to do it again.

April also saw me join forces with some other r/Fantasy regular authors, starting the Fools of Fantasy. We had a big sale for the month, which really gave me a big boost in visibility and sales. It was pretty rad all around.

Once back in Tulsa, we started working towards a few things. First up, healthcare. We found out about Morton Health and their sliding scale, which we qualified for. Our visits are only $30 for each of us AND they’re a comprehensive clinic, which means that I also got to go for an eye exam a couple of months ago. We got Nici on the path towards health over the summer by finally discovering that they have hypothyroidism. Which explained A LOT. Unfortunately, before May ended, my van died. The transmission started going out and my battery was corroding itself to death slowly. Thankfully, Morton offers free transportation, so we’ve easily been able to get to and from our visits as needed.

May saw me finish the first draft of The Demons Within, along with doing Patreon stuff. I also managed to get us on foodstamps, which has been immensely helpful. Cause food. I’ve continued doing a good job at managing my diabetes without medication and keeping my A1C under 7 and part of that is thanks to not worrying about affording food. After all of that, the summer was relatively quiet. I’d also promised Nici I would sing at karaoke if they got their blood drawn, so I sang at “Last Caress” by The Misfits at live-band metal karaoke. My buddy (and our DM) discovered it before we came back so that’s our big group activity. It was a lot of fun. The next time, in August, I sang “Electric Eye” by Judas Priest and fucked up the second verse.

August saw me begin work on Grimluk 4 and the second draft of The Demons Within and preparing the kickstarter for the latter as well. Things with our living situation grew a bit more tense. It seems impossible to escape family drama but we’re getting by. D&D has helped a lot (as well as when we switched over to play Changeling the Dreaming with another member of our group running the game). D&D makes for a weird sort of therapy.

I also spent the summer working on a Fighter subclass and a Fighter-based character sheet for D&D, as I wanted a sheet that I felt more comfortable with. The subclass/archetype was the Monster Hunter, based on the Unearthed Arcana archetype Wizards did. Both have been pretty popular (along with the Orcs overhaul I released for Orctober). You can find links and previews to all of that in the works section in the nav bar above.

October arrived, with the second draft of Demons Within finished and the launch of the kickstarter and Orctober. It was a lot of fun. I’m still disappointed that I wasn’t able to actually get the recording of our one shot done and up for everyone but technical difficulties are fun that way. I was sure the kickstarter wouldn’t fund but, goddamn, a whole bunch of big damn heroes came in during the last 12 hours and made it happen. I’m still floored by that.

I’d also decided to take a break from writing for a bit. I was a bit worn out between starting a new book, getting a second draft done, doing all the Orctober stuff, and life in general. November was kind of a blur, with Thanksgiving coming and going, and now Christmas is gone and we stand at the end of 2018. I spent these last two months doing some proofreading for a friend to help her prep for celebrating her 20th book release.

Now here I am, at the end of the year, feeling accomplished and hopeful. Nici’s doctor put them on a new medication for mental health that seems like it will be the Right One finally. And along with everything listed above, I’ve had some other things that cemented/revealed themselves to me. So I’m gonna finish out the year with a public announcement.

As I said above, D&D is a strange form of therapy. And what do you know, it worked something out for me. See, my character, Gorthos, a half-orc fighter, is both bisexual and polyamorous. The latter of which I’ve been thinking heavily about through the middle of last year. The former of which has been a creeping question about myself. It came up with someone I’d developed heavy feelings for quickly. Ultimately, she and I ended up losing contact but it was a big sign. Add to that another friend of mine that I’ve known for a good long while and can honestly, 100% I love them with those kind of feelings too, and yeah.

Then, continuing on, there was a story for the other side. Early in my relationship with Nici, I realized that if they ever wanted to transition into a man, I would stay with them. I can’t imagine not having Nici in my life. That was NEON SIGN number one. Then a couple of months ago, I had a dream about a dude friend and I kissed him in the dream. When I woke up, I thought, “oh, that was nice, I’d totally date them.” Neon sign number 2.

So, I guess what I’m saying is that I’m ending the year by saying this:

Hi, my name is Ashe, author of the only high fantasy weird western series starring an orc, and I’m bisexual and polyamorous. I lean more towards women still, but I have a non-binary gendered partner who I would still with no matter their gender identity and I can love more than one person at a time, and do.

Fuck you, 2017. We’re still here, asshole. The year’s been up and down, see a lot of change, a lot of destruction, a lot of outcry. It’s just the beginning. I think 2018 is gonna be pretty damn big.