Bit of an update to go with these new stories as well. I’ve shut down my Patreon. After the security breech, and the fact that I’ve only had one patron, I figured I should just put it on the back burner for now. In the meantime, I’ll be uploading everything I posted there and then occasionally adding new pieces as well. The most important two, however, are the ones I’ll be linking below, as the first was going to be a part of this month’s postings, and was a request from said patron, and the second is the short story I had submitted for publication and was so excited for over the summer. Happy reading, y’all.
Author: Ashe
Ashe Plays Fallout New Vegas – Journal of the Courier #001-025
When I started playing Fallout New Vegas, I decided to do little journals for my Courier. Given that I got up to 25, I figured I’d post them all here. This is the journal of Jed Wales, Mojave Courier. This is a long post.
Journal #001
This Pip-Boy has a journal feature so I figured I’d use it. Mostly, I just wanna keep my thoughts together. It’s hard to keep straight still. I guess that’s to be expected when someone tries to blow your brains out. Guess some robot named Victor found me, brought me to Doc Mitchell, who patched me up. Don’t remember much. It’s all kind of a haze. Bits of my old life. Runnin deliveries. Doc says I’m mostly okay now. Gave me some fresh clothes, the Pip-Boy, a few caps, and sent me on my way after answerin a few questions. Goodsprings is pretty small. I’m just sittin here on Doc’s stoop, lookin at it. Guess it couldn’t hurt to get my bearings. How else am I gonna kill those sons of bitches?
Journal #002
Made for the Prospector Saloon. Old man out front says his name is Easy Pete. Didn’t know much about the men that nearly killed me. That’s fine. Met a woman inside named Sunny. She was nice. Guess this town’s just full of nice folks. She helped me get my head back on right. I don’t remember bein this good with a gun before. Wouldn’t that just be a kick in the head? They shoot me and end up makin me a crackshot? Anyways, Sunny had me help her kill some geckos. I feel bad for her though. Her dog died. Tried to bite a gecko and got bit herself. Sunny was upset but showed me a few more things. Tough broad.
Journal #003
Sunny told me to introduce myself to Trudy. She owns the Prospector. When I got in, she was arguin with some asshole about some other asshole. Turns out these guys called the Powder Gangers are lookin for some guy named Ringo. I guess Joe Cobb is the Gangers’ leader or maybe just a mouthpiece. After he ran off, I introduced myself. Trudy seems like a nice lady. Told me she’d seen the assholes that tried to kill me. One of them busted her radio. I fixed it, asked her about Ringo and the Gangers, then figured I’d go back out lookin for geckos again. They’re easy shots and it’s helpin me get back in order.
Journal #004
I guess Goodsprings isn’t just a pile of saints. This motherfucker named Thorn comes runnin up to me while I’m gecko huntin, tellin me his girl’s trapped by geckos on the ridge above. Seemed funny cause ain’t no one screamin but I figure what the hell, maybe she’s stayin quiet, hopin they’ll go away. So I go on up and clear out the geckos and…nothin. Maybe she’s dead. Nope. Thorn wanted me to do cleanup for him so he could get at some damn treasure. Then he said he was gonna kill me. Give ya two guesses on who walked away.
Journal #005
Did some wandering around Goodsprings. Found an old house the robot’s house. Never knew robots needed houses. Feel like I met everyone in town but no one seems to know where the owner went or even who they were. There was a letter on a dead bike though. Said something was buried in the graveyard. I got up there and some lunatic in a lab coat starts swingin a shovel at me. Guess he was lookin for the key too. Guess now I’m a real resident of Goodsprings.
Journal #006
Got curious and figured out where Ringo was hidin. I know I got a trail to follow but hole in my head or not, I ain’t stupid. I’m still healin and I wanna take those sons a bitches on healthy. So I talked to the kid. He’s a fuckin Caravaner. The Gangers wanna fuck the town up over him. Figure they’re gonna keep getting pushier until someone talks or they lose their patience. Good time to work on trigger discipline, I guess.
Journal #007
Took some convincing but I talked Trudy and the others into kickin some Ganger ass. Figure this is my new home, these folks patched me up, helped me pull myself together. Might as well repay them. Course, one of the bastards got away after watchin me blow Cobb’s brains out so I’m probably gonna get in some shit with the rest of them at some point but whatever. I been dead once.
Journal #008
Guess I’m headed to Primm. Need to make some ammo and gather supplies. Truth be told, I’m a bit nervous. Not every day a man hunts down his killers. Least this old house has a loading bench. We’ll see what the Mojave’s gonna throw at me.
Journal #009
Things got pretty heated since the last time I made an entry. Guess I got a lot to put down here. Let’s see if I can remember it all. Primm, right. I was heading to Primm. Some NCR soldiers are there, said they were keeping some escaped convicts from runnin out but they seemed happy to be holed up in Primm even with the NCR watching them. They’re gone now. Rescued Deputy Beagle, the coward, but he gave me the info I needed. And then asked me to find a new sheriff. Somehow, I made a robot the new Sheriff of Primm. No idea how I did it. I’m not that great with technology but I’ll be damned if it didn’t work.
After that, I found myself up at the Mojave Outpost. Big fuckin Ranger statue shakin hands with a big fuckin Trooper, blah fuckin blah, we’ll make you safe or whatever the fuck they’re always on about. You fucks didn’t keep me from gettin a bullet to my head. Anyways, cleared out an ant problem for the guy in charge. He let some supplies fall off the brahmin for me. Met a woman named Cassidy who was stuck there cause some raiders burned her shit down. Had a drink with her and she told me I could check for work with the Crimson Caravan if I was interested. They owe me anyways for helpin Ringo.
After that, it was Nipton. Fucking hell. Fucking Legion assholes had strung the whole town up…cruxifation…I think that’s what it’s called. Dogs and weapons aimed at me and this asshole in a dog hat starts yammering on at me. I was nervous and horrified and kept askin him questions. He told me to spread word of what had happened. I said okay but fuck that. I’ll warn people away from Nipton if it comes up.
The worst fuckin part of Nipton though? I poked around, got some info about what had happened after the Legion boys left and…well look, I know I’m talkin to myself here, but no one deserves what they had done to ‘em but it seems a lot of them deserved at least a punch to the balls.
Hightailed it away and wandered over to Novac. Fuckin assholes ambushed me in the canyon beyond. Glad there was a doc in Novac when I got there. She patched me up. That was a long fuckin walk though. Now I’m in Novac and this guy tells me he’s happy to point me in the right direction but the town needs help. Great. I guess it’s not so bad helping folks along the way. Keeps my shootin sharp so I’ll be ready when I meet that fucker.
Journal #010
I just launched a group of ghouls into space in ancient rockets from before the War. I need a fuckin drink. Or several. Maybe a whole crate of whiskey. I ain’t leavin my hotel room for a few days after that. Got the info I needed, gotta go find the Khans. But first…I’m gonna drink til I can’t feel my legs.
Journal #011
Boulder City’s NCR troops have those Khans locked behind that rubble wall or whatever it is. They say it’s dangerous, they got folks taken hostage. I say I can help with that little issue. I say I’m gonna put a bullet in the faces of each of those Khans. And that’s exactly what I fuckin did. Recognized their leader. He was there when that fuck in the suit shot me so there was no small sense of satisfaction when I blew his head off. Fucker had a lighter on him, belonged to Benny, the fuck in that suit. Guess I make for New Vegas now.
Journal #012
Parked the truck near the Crimson Caravan’s outpost. Did I write that down before? Guess not. Found this old truck in Novac. Has everything I could need while away from home. Even a reloader. Anyways, I’m here, outside the walls, and I’m thinkin. I need time to get the lay of things and I need time to figure out how I’m gonna deal with that bastard Benny. Ringo mentioned more pay and Cass mentioned work, so I’m here. I’ll get some caps, get some work, and stock up on gear before finding Benny and watchin him piss his pants.
Journal #013
McLafferty hired me to buy out Cass’s caravan. Trekked all the fuckin way back out to the Outpost and she was still there, still nursin that whiskey. I felt bad askin her to give up her family name and all that but when I asked if she really wanted to be trapped at the Outpost forever, she changed her mind. I figured, what the hell, maybe she’d wanna come with me, keep my ass from gettin lost. She agreed to join me. Think at first, she figured I’d be good for some work, get some caps. She just asked that we find what was left of her Caravan. That was just fine with me. Somethin wasn’t right with it though. Cass wants to check out another Caravan that got hit. Suits me fine.
Journal #014
We been travelin for a while now. I been out here trackin down that shithead Benny for longer. I figured the only folks that really gave others shit were the raiders and gangs and the Legion after I came upon them cruxificated folks in Nipton. Turns out that’s horseshit and anyone with an ounce of power will try and fuck folks over out here. See, Cass and I tracked down that other Caravan. Same as hers. Then we got wind of another one and tracked it down. Same as before except this time, there was some dead assholes from the Crimson Caravan and the Van Graffs.
Cass says what we’re both thinkin. They been workin together to remove competition and shit went south this time. Cass was mad enough to bite the throat out of a deathclaw and I’m with her. Especially after travelin out to for McLafferty to buy Cassidy Caravans. Cass wants Gloria Van Graff and Alice McLafferty dead. I say that’s just fuckin fine with me.
Journal #015
McLafferty didn’t bat an eye when we showed up. Hell, she offered me more work. Wanted me to shut down a cap forging operation. Cass shut that piece of shit down though. I took out the guard and some asshole that pulled his piece of on us and then some asshole in a suit tries to take a swing at me and Cass shot him. No one outside that office said anything when we left. They knew.
Journal #016
Cass said the Van Graffs would be hell to get to. She wasn’t kiddin. I scoped the place out. Guards armed to the fuckin teeth with plasma rifles and armor and I saw Gloria torch someone as I came in. Guess that’s a New Vegas special. Just shoot people dead cause they piss ya off or have somethin ya want. Guess that might make me a hypocrite though since I’m on my way to kill Benny and we were plannin the death of these fucks but we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.
I told Cass to wait across the street, cover me if I had to escape but when I talked to Gloria, she had work. So I came out and waved her back. Door man wasn’t too pleased but he gave me my gear and showed me the ropes of being a Silver Rush gatekeeper. Guess fortune smiled on me. Turned away a drunk, checked a gambler, turned another away and then another guy shows up and looks twitchy. Says he just wants to replace his revolver. So I let him in. Simon says I’m supposed to check all folks for weapons and I just say sorry. Then I took a slide on the road. Turns out, the guy I let in was covered in explosives.
I just figured workin them would let me figure out how we could make Gloria, as Cass suggested, eat her own hair. I bought her a bottle of whiskey to apologize for not getting to shoot the bitch in the face herself but this way let us survive. Neither of us were sure we could walk out alive with all the muscle they had. We hoofed it back to the truck and drank up the whiskey. Cass is out and I’m wondering what’s next. Guess I’ll figure it out tomorrow.
Journal #017
After we got ourselves patched up from one massive hangover, Cass and I headed to the Strip. Honestly hadn’t decided if I wanted to find Benny yet but I figured we could at least get our bearings. I’d seen the lights from the Mojave as I headed towards New Vegas for the past few months but it’s wholly different once you get inside. It’s never dark there and the buildings are huge. I mean, sure, RepConn was big but it was beat to shit and filled with religious ghouls and super mutants. And for some reason…Victor was there. We went through the gate and there he was. And then he tells me Mr. House wants to see me. The fuck does that mean? So here we are, outside the Lucky 38, which is sealed up tight, and I’m supposed to leave Cass out here and go in myself. And she’s lookin at me funny for writing all this down out here.
Journal #018
I don’t know what the fuck I expected up there. It’s been a few days and I been thinkin it up. Now, Benny’s a traitorous snake, that is clear as a bell and we all can agree on that. But it turns out he went and fucked over his master. Bit the hand that feeds him, as it were. And his master…is a goddamn computer. Or a bit robot, though I guess there ain’t much difference when ya get down to it. He wants the chip back and he doesn’t give a shit how I get it. He basically gave me the Lucky 38. I think Cass is as creeped out as I am about all this. Nicest spot on the Strip and it’s filled with machines and two humans and that’s unsettling as hell. And I don’t know what to do.
Journal #019
I agreed to get the chip back. I’m not sure House wouldn’t have tossed me from that top room of his and had Cass shot. He comes off very reasonable, sure, very logical and whatnot. Benny talked like that too. So I agreed and then we left. I’d rather take my chances running into a deathclaw than stick around that tower and all them fuckers. And if by some fuckin chance the great lord and master can read my pipboy, well fuck you. Even if I give you that chip back, fuck you.
Maybe I’ll take Cass home to Goodsprings. Cass is a good woman. When I told her what was going on, she was ready to help me deal with Benny however I wanted. Got my back just like I had hers with McLafferty and Van Graff. I’m lucky our paths crossed. Couldn’t ask for a better friend out here.
Journal #020
This shit with House has got me confused. I just wanted vengeance and now it’s getting complicated. We took off from New Vegas and headed to Novac. The locals gave me a room at the Dino Dee-lite so we’ve holed up while I figure out what the hell to do. In the mean time, Cass told me she make moonshine. It’s terrible but after a glass of it knocked me the hell out last night. Cass called me a lightweight. I threatened to make her something called a Mini-Nuke. I have no idea what the recipe actually would be but I’m pretty sure it would involve some flamer fuel and a conductor. Maybe we’ll just disappear into the Mojave for a while, take care of odd jobs. I need time to think.
Journal #021
Been a while since I wrote anything down besides notes. Me and Cass out taking odd jobs. Ended up answering a recruitment notice in Goodsprings for a bounty hunting job out by Primm. Wasn’t sure what to make of it at first but occasionally we’ve hunted down some real assholes. This one fuck was kidnapping kids from Novac. Some crazy ass ghoul. Had to take some time off hunting after that and ended up stumbling on Black Mountain. Super Mutant by the name of Neil came running at us. Normally, that’s reason enough to shoot first but I ain’t never seen one of them fuckers charge you without a weapon drawn. Gave us a warning, wondering why the fuck we’d come out here if we’d heard the broadcasts. He explained what was going on and I offered to help. Seemed the thing to do. Cass was surprised at first, slugged me for walking into Super Mutant territory but we ended up rescuing a ghoul named Raul, which pissed their leader Tabitha off somethin fierce. Took him with us for a while and then offered to let him stay at the Lucky 38 if he wanted. Told him it was creepy as shit but I guess after having a tyrant scream at him for who knows how long, silence and safety seemed a better option.
Journal #022
Got a letter from the NCR ambassador, wanting me to help them recruit the Boomers. Guess I’ve gotten a little infamous and a little famous. Walked passed the Tops, knowing Benny was in there, the piece of shit. Guy tells me they could really use the Boomers’ help but no one’s ever made it through their defenses. I’m pretty sure Cass contemplated smothering me in my sleep that night. Guy outside Nellis tells us he wants to make a bet in exchange for a tip on how to get through. I say sure. We’re either dead or richer. After nearly getting blown up and pulling Cass through a destroyed house, we made it to the gate. The whole affair was strange but their leader said she was hoping an outsider would eventually find their way in. That was me and Cass. Long story short, we ended up raising a goddamn bomber from the bottom of a lake and now I’m a damn hero to the tribe. Haven’t said anything about the NCR request though. Truthfully, haven’t made up my mind.
Journal #023
I think it’s time to have a chat with Benny.
Journal #024
God fucking damn it! I almost had him! He was right fucking there! Surrounded by bodyguards, and I’m weaponless except for a silenced .22 I keep hidden for emergencies. I figure maybe I can talk him into a private chat. Dumb fucking me. I got ahead of myself is all. He says he’ll talk and sends me up to the Presidential Suite. I know damn good and well he’s gone as soon as the elevator door closes but I figure I can look the place over. I hear him over the intercom, taunting me and then up come those bodyguards. Amazing what a .22 to the eye can do to slow someone down. Fucking great.
One of the bastards had a key on them though. Figure maybe we can use it and find out what that fuckface was doing. In we go, searchin the joint top to bottom and we find a Securitron named “Yes Man.” And he tells us where Benny’s gone, what he was doing, and what we can do about it all. Benny figured he’d take over New Vegas and replace House. I still gotta find that fucking chip.
Journal #025
That asshole in the dog head met us outside the Tops. Says Caesar wants to speak to me. Says I’ll get his mark and be forgiven any wrongs against the Legion. Fucking fine, let’s go see what this piece of shit wants. Yes Man said Benny was heading out that way anyways. Maybe I can find him, right? I found him. Caesar had him and the chip and tells me he wants me to take it down and destroy House’s army. This whole thing has gotten way the fuck out of hand and Cass is on edge cause we’re dead center in slaver territory. What now?
Getting into the Halloween Spirit
I made this playlist a few years ago on my old youtube account and decided it was time to remake it. It’s full of horror punk and metal.
Halloween!
The songs:
Halloween – The Misfits
Black Sabbath – Black Sabbath
Partytime (Zombie Version) – 45 Grave
Life and Death of the Party – Alice Cooper
Deathrider – Anthrax
Monster Movie – American Werewolves
Fear of the Dark – Iron Maiden
Creatures of the Night – The Creepshow
Descent into Madness – Evile
Terror in the Haunted House – Blitzkid
Alison Hell – Annihilator
The House of Myth – Creature Feature
Blood Red Sandman – Lordi
Buried Alive – The Creepshow
Fight ‘Em Til You Can’t – Anthrax
Drink With The Living Dead – Ghoultown
Buried Alive – Creature Feature
Polterghost – Gama Bomb
Souls of the Dead – Grave Stompers
Hyperthermia – Tankard
Evil Urge – Lugosi’s Morphine
Overkill – Overkill
Last Caress – The Misfits
Dead Skin Mask – Slayer
Bloodshed – The Spookshow
The Thing That Should Not Be – Metallica (or the Primus cover)
Fodder For The Elder Gods – Creature Feature
Go To Hell! – Gwar
Snakes Out The Mouth Of Hell – Devil’s Whorehouse
Dante’s Inferno (live) – Iced Earth
Happy listening!
What should you be reading? The answer may surprise you!
It won’t, actually. Well, I don’t think it will. Anyways, I’m gonna offer up some recommendations for stuff to read that I’ve either read, plan to read, or just plain like the author. Though, more than likely, the latter point means I’ve probably read or plan to read their stuff anyways. Mostly, I include that point to make it clear that I want support my community. Now, if you’re reading this outside of the dashboard reader on wordpress, you’ll see that there’s a “Recommended Reads” tab above. I’m going to copy and paste that list but I’m also going to be trying to add new stuff here. In we go!
Authors
- S.A. Hunt, Author of the award-winning Outlaw King fantasy series and the newly released Malus Domestica urban horror.
- Sara Amundson, Creator of Make-A-Monster
- M.Todd Gallowglas, Author of the Dead Weight, Tears of Rage, & Halloween Jack series.
- Z. Rider, Author of Suckers, a new spin on vampire horror.
- Edward M. Erdelac, Author of the award winning Merkabah Rider series, lover of the weird, and High Geek Master
- Krista D. Ball, Author of the Tales of Tranquility and Spirit Caller series. Master of Snark.
- Christopher Ruz, Author of the Century of Sand fantasy series and the Rust horror series.
- Steph Lehenbauer, Author of the Wanderlust series. Though, I need to add that Steph’s Wanderlust publisher shut down. She’s currently reworking the series for a re-release at some point.
- Al Barrera, Author of Darker Shadows Lie Below.
- J.S. Collyer, Author of the Orbit series.
- Luke Matthews, Author of Construct.
- Courtney Cantrell, Author of the Legends of the Light-Walkers series, master of colored hair.
- Laird Barron, Author of The Imago Sequence and Other Stories and all around high priest of the New Weird.
- Tim Marquitz, Author of the Demon Squad series, former gravedigger, and fellow lover of Heavy Metal.
- SM Reine, Author of, well, a huge slew of urban fantasy.
Books
- Starship Blackbeard by Michael Wallace (#1 in a series) – Sci-Fi
- West of Dead: A Nathaniel Caine Adventure by Eric Bahle (#1 in a series) – Weird West
- Brackett Hollister: The Werewolf Pack by Quentin Wallace (#1 in a series) – Weird West
- The Golem and the Jinni by Helene Wecker – Urban/Literary Fantasy
- The Big Book of Post-Collapse Fun by Rachel Sharp – Post-Apocalypse
- Damoren by Seth Skorkowsky (#1 in the Valducan series) – Urban Fantasy
- The Desert of Souls by Howard Andrew Jones (#1 in a series) – Sword & Sorcery
- Honor Among Orcs by Amalia Dillin (#1 in a series) – Epic Fantasy/Romance
Comics
- Rat Queens. Are you reading this? Why are you not reading this? It’s amazing. Orc Dave is a precious gift from heaven and Braga is our orc queen goddess. The whole cast is fucking amazing though.
- East of West. It’s a sci-fi weird western starring the Four Horsemen. If that doesn’t get your interest, I can’t help you.
- Death Vigil by Stjepan Šejić, who is also doing the art for Rat Queens now. This is one of his own books though. He writes it and handles the art duties and it is awesome. Buy the trade.
- Daughter of the Lillies. This one came up on r/Fantasy in a rec thread for orcs and goblins as protags and it surprised me. Start at the beginning and read through it. New pages will start on the 22nd. The art’s lovely and the characters jump out immediately. And it’s FREE.
I’m not really caught up on comics lately but I will say that Image, Dark Horse, and IDW (mostly for the Ghostbusters series) are where all the best comics are happening right now. As I find more indie comics, I’ll post about them too and as always, recommendations are absolutely welcome.
Happy reading, everyone!
Patreon and an Update
While I haven’t gotten tons of writing done this week, I did get more plotting done for the second Grimluk book, which will help. The book’s coming along at near 15,000 words, almost a fifth of the 80K goal. And in only a month a half, that beats the hell out of my pace for the first book.
In other news though, it’s Friday and September so it’s time for a new story. “From Tusk Til Dawn” is now up on Patreon. Part of me kind of hates doing this because I really really want folks to read this story and realistically, putting it as backers only means few people will, buuuuut I’m also trying to be a professional here. So, for those who haven’t heard, this story is about a lady orc wanderer who ends up having a close encounter of the fanged kind.
Fantasy is NOT Historically Accurate
Trigger warning for talk of rape.
The phrase “historically accurate” in regards to fantasy fiction is so pervasive at this point that it’s almost inescapable. Given that I hang out on r/Fantasy pretty regularly, I see this nearly constantly. And yes, I know, serves me right for hanging out on reddit. The majority of the time, r/Fantasy is a pretty reasonable place to be. The number one rule is “Please be kind” and the mods are all nice folks who keep the place running smoothly. But that doesn’t matter when someone responds to questions, topics, and article links about the nature of fantasy fiction with shit like “historically accurate” or “realistic.” You might be wondering what exactly provokes these responses. Well strap the fuck in cause this shit is painful. This will mostly be me ranting.
Do you watch that show about throne games? Did you read the books? Is there a shit ton of rape? Sure there is. That’s why the recent outrage against the show saw a lot of people finally throwing their hands up and saying they were done, that the limit had finally been reached. And what do you hear about that? “The rape is historically accurate!”
And what about the basic concept of gender equality? In the year of Lord Cena, two-thousand and fifteen, we’re finally approaching levels of gender equality never dreamed of before in history. Women have 100% always been property, never been warriors, only been baby factories, and never ever left an unhappy marriage. Gender equality is NOT historically accurate.
Or maybe you’ve watched Xena or some other piece of history-based fantasy and loved the idea of a woman whooping literally all of the ass. Every ass within whoopin’ vicinity was kicked with extreme prejudice. You may be surprised to learn that that’s nothing more than a Mary Sue power fantasy and in REAL history, women were never able to best men in combat, at all, ever. They had to resort to cowardly acts like poison and using their bodies to get in close. Women are, realistically, weak and cowardly.
And don’t even get me started on gender and sexuality beyond heteronormative and cis. Didn’t exist except in small, deviant pockets. Always. Without fail. Completely realistic.
According to fans of most fantasy media, these things are all realistic and historically accurate. But what the fuck does that actually mean? There’s a huge conflation between “realistic” and “believable.” They’re often interchanged without meaning to be. In a general sense, realistic means believable and you get there through little ways. One of my kickstarter backers for A Demon in the Desert wrote in her review on goodreads she thought the world felt “well thought out.” Other readers said they enjoyed the characters, who felt real and distinct. And lest you forget, we’re talking about a book where a giant green guy hunts a demon and even willfully takes direct gun shots to his person. Realism for Grimluk is in the dialogue, in his interactions with others, in the little details of the world around him. Those things allow us to believe what we’re reading. It’s realistic for the context and while based a lot on the mythology of the American West (where, may I point out, Westerns are rarely, truly historically accurate), I still do my own stuff.
Turn that over to the standard, medieval-based stuff and suddenly, the view gets tighter. Everything was crappier, you were either a peasant or an aristocrat and there were apparently roving bands of rapists. Girls were married off at 12 to start popping out children and on and on and on. And if you dare to suggest that maybe, just maybe, the use of rape could’ve been tweaked to be, perhaps, less intense and less dismissive of the victim…”that’s not historically accurate/realistic.”
Recently, a blog post by an author I won’t name basically wrote what amounts to an excuse for his main character being a shit bag. The thread about the post pretty much devolved into what you’d expect from reddit. This weekend, a reader started a thread on the topic of “grimdark” fantasy and how, while reading a particular book, she struggled to get through it because of a very graphic and flippant gang rape scene where the protagonist first allows his men to rape a woman, but then he feels bad about it and beheads her, and then never thinks about it again. She said she felt like this type of writing was, to her, “unfair to women readers.” The responses were, of course, mostly on the ridiculous side. One poster in particular hounded “realism” and “historical accuracy” ad nauseum and boiled down her thoughts to “don’t like it, don’t read it.”
In relation, many, many posters posited that there was a genre just as “unfair” to MEN as grimdark is for women. That genre? Romance. Romance books are, according to most, nothing but disgusting porn written for women. One step further from that is the very existence of homosexuality in fantasy. Apparently, and I guess I missed the memo, gay relationships and gay sex disgust every straight man in existence and some women too. And this, of fucking course, is exactly the same as graphic depictions of rape.
And these two aspects basically sum up the entire problem with this bullshit. The arguments are entirely based in a wrong-headed approach. “Don’t like it, don’t read it” is thrown at anyone who criticizes anything “uncomfortable.” This doesn’t help anything if the critic actually says “but I could’ve liked it, were it not for these aspects.” My friend and fellow author, Krista D. Ball, was basically hounded a few weeks ago for daring to criticize the character Harry Dresden from the Dresden Files. She fucking LOVES the series. Owns every book. Huge fan. Didn’t matter. Dudebros started falling over themselves to fight her.
Rape? Misogyny? Racism? All integral and realistic for a genre whose common vision among the general public is “dragons and wizards and elves.” You can literally have hordes of zombies, skeletons, imps, and sorcerers serving a grand, DARK LORD, but the moment you make the hero a woman who has trained to become a badass? Unrealistic Mary Sue. The DARK LORD is Evil so how do we show he is Evil? He’ll rape the leading lady! That’s historically accurate. Nevermind that he’s a thousand year-old lich in the body of half-demon, half-elf. Winged, intelligent lizards that breathe fire and speak magic and may or may not be immortal? Super realistic. Matriarchal society with universal healthcare and magic-assisted farming? Historically inaccurate and you have now proven that you are a piece of shit who shouldn’t be allowed near a keyboard.
Also, why aren’t you describing boobs more? Why isn’t this character obsessed with reflecting on how her boobs feel in this spider-silk dress? Are her nipples hard? Will she be raped too? Will she actually like it? Stop fucking with history, you big phony!
Fantasy, ladies and gentleman, is not historically accurate and I’m sick of hearing that it should be. This has been a rant.
Why Pro-Wrestling Made Me A Better Storyteller
A hush falls over the crowd in anticipation of what’s to come. The lights go out and a great gong rings out. Everyone in the building erupts as the organ hits and the funeral dirge begins. Blue light and artificial flashes of lightning fill the dark as a tall figure emerges, clothed in a long coat and a wide-brimmed hat. Smoke billows around his feet as he stares down the aisle at his opponent in the ring. He walks, slowly, deliberately, even somberly down to the ring, letting the tension build. As he ascends the steps to the ring, he stops at the top, pausing for a moment before slowly raising his arms, and with them, the lights of the arena. He steps into the ring and after another pause, he reaches up slowly and removes his hat, contorting his face into a grim and demonic visage of strength and intimidation. AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA! The Undertaker is ready to fight.
For those of you unfamiliar with that scene, you can check it out one of the more recent versions here, from Wrestlemania 27. The Undertaker is probably my favorite wrestler of all time and without a doubt, one of my favorite characters ever. Sure, little Ashe was a Hulkamaniac. Much in the same way that kids love John Cena, it was an inescapable part of being a kid who loved wrestling. But I also loved the Macho Man and Jake the Snake and The Undertaker (the former two I learned to appreciate even more as an adult, while Hogan…well, let’s just say Hulkamania finally died). And Undertaker, along with his early manager, the late, great, ever spooky, Paul Bearer (ooooooh, yes!), stayed with me the most.
Here was a man whose gimmick was that he was Dead. Supernatural. An otherworldly gravedigger who would hand-build you a coffin before putting you in it. Now, if you’re not a fan, you’re probably saying, “Ashe, wrestling isn’t real and it’s for children, grow up.” And to that I say…I don’t care. The character was amazing. He was spooky and powerful and stood out. Where most wrestlers had flashy outfits and yelled their promos, Undertaker rumbled gravely words of threat at you while Paul Bearer hyped him up. In the ring, he would surprise you by moving quick, striking fast and hard, and sitting up and staring his opponent down after they hit their finisher.
But that’s just one character. I spent years watching WWE. We all look fondly back at what is now called the Attitude Era. You may know this as the era that brought us Stone Cold Steve Austin and the most electrifying man in sports-entertainment today, The Rock. Not to mention the height of Mick Foley’s career, the creation of D-Generation X, and the now infamous Monday Night Wars with WCW. The mid-to-late 90s was a helluva time for a wrestling fan.
But characters…theatricality…stories…this is what I really want to talk about. You’ve seen the theatricality of the Undertaker. It goes beyond just entrances though. In ring, the performers tell stories with their bodies. There are tricks to the moves for safety, sure, and they plan the high spots out in advance but they can still get hurt and they do. But they tell their stories with brawling and technical moves and power moves and whirling, breath-taking moves. It’s theater, it’s ballet, it’s goddamn kung fu movies but live and with no wires! Watch enough and you develop a strong sense of flow with action. I credit wrestling with helping me write actions scenes that reviews have commented weren’t overdone or too long.
On top of all this, you take a teenage me, the internet, and online roleplaying and you get to e-wrestling. This most definitely helped me way early on at learning some things about writing and storytelling in a more general sense. When I started, I was garbage and I wanted my character to basically be Raven, except a powerhouse. Then he became Kevin Nash but less of a dick. THEN I reintroduced his cousin who was metalhead version of Raven with a side of Bill & Ted. Again, garbage all around but the latter bit actually saw me step my writing attempts way the hell up. And you worked with the other RPers. You could, conceivably, plan huge storylines with someone else (which I did twice and had plans to do so with another person before she disappeared and I got bored).
And these weren’t just promo pieces like you see on TV. These combined with episodic storytelling. We wrote mini-stories. We might write about house show matches (the shows that aren’t on TV or pay-per-view) and a promo, or do a whole thing that had nothing to do with your next match and was completely ridiculous and silly. You got to win matches by entertaining the moderators the most. It’s really hard to just do that with your basic promo when you are completely in charge of your own storylines. So you tried shit and like the real thing, sometimes you’d drop something cause it sucked or didn’t work right or you got sick or whatever. It was great practice and, again, like the real thing, when it was good, it was damn good.
So, I guess my ultimate point here is that this is why wrestling is still important to me. I’m much, MUCH more critical of the WWE these days and primarily only keep up with the NXT roster (which is well worth the 10 bucks a month for a WWE Network subscription), but it still hits me and I’m still impressed with great matches and great spots and it still helps me. If you’ve read A Demon in the Desert, I actually had Grimluk clothesline someone and powerbomb someone else. I also outright wrote in the Wyatt Family because Bray Wyatt single-handedly got me to come back to watching wrestling last summer.
If you want the tl;dr version of all this, then basically, watch the following video. And also remember that Max Landis is a giant toolbag but he nailed wrestling in his video.
A Demon in the Desert Reviews – Some Favorite Snippets
I figured that with a combined total of 8 reviews between Amazon and Goodreads that I’d share some of my favorite pieces of each. All but two at the moment are from kickstarter backers, but I’m still excited that anyone has taken the time to review at all. I’m giving a name, whether they were a backer, and where the review came from.
Steph Lehenbauer was nice enough to do a review for her column over at Rock and Hill Studio (and posted a short version on goodreads and Amazon). My favorite bit from her review says, “Grimluk, the main character, is an intriguing guy. He’s an orc, but a nice one. A friendly giant. I always love these sorts of characters. (Hagrid springs to mind.) He’s also plenty bad-ass. Early in the book is a scene in which he pistol whips some zombies, always good fun. He has a very honorable sort of character that I enjoyed; he’s kind of the anti anti-hero. He’s Captain America in the Hulk’s body, which was a fun combo.”
“The supporting characters are a fun bunch, and you get a good feel for their different personalities and a bit of their backgrounds. I really enjoyed reading it, and the final battle had me with goosebumps and giggles (as an avid D&D player, I was picturing my group and I in the same situation and it was magnificent).” – Samantha, kickstarter backer via Amazon
“I have to say I found this a fun, action-oriented, pulpy read that’s great brain candy. It features a diverse cast of interesting weirdos, and the underexplored weird west genre is celebrated fully within it’s pages. I’m excited for the further adventures of Grimluk!” – Pope, kickstarter back via Amazon. This was also his entire review haha.
“This is Ashe’s first novel, and it’s a very promising first effort. I love the Grimluk character, and I love the setting. It’s a post apocalyptic wasteland loaded with monsters and demons. This fits into the ‘Weird Western’ genre, as it’s basically a western storyline. However, it’s also loaded with elves, orcs, and magic, so there are fantasy elements too. There’s also horror, so we get a blending of several genres.” – Quentin, backer via goodreads.
“I can’t remember reading any Westerns before, but I’m glad that my first one was a Weird Western. The concept of this book grabbed me the moment I heard about it, so much so that it became the first project I ever backed on Kickstarter. Nice deconstruction of fantasy tropes. There’s orcs, humans, dwarves, and elves, and yet each of the characters felt like they had personalities of their own, independent of common fantasy race characteristics.” – Ariel, backer via goodreads.
“Another aspect of the novel that I enjoyed was its general tone and subtle/dry sense of humor. No, it’s not a “comedy,” but there were some spots that garnered chuckles from me. I think my favorite line is still (the understated),”I hate ghouls. They’re so…tedious.” And I have to say that I can see that as being the truth, and I’ll probably consider that every time I see a ghoul in a story from here on out.” C, backer via goodreads (and better known as wilburwhateley for tumblr folks).
“I really enjoyed the fight at the end. I was hoping there was something big to happen to warrant the amount of time spent on investigation. Ashe certainly delivered on that. I also really liked how everything was connected in the end and even though the ‘battle’ was won in the end, there was so much tragedy that it didn’t really feel like they had. I really like when books do that, because the ‘everything worked out and everyone is happy’ type of ending get a little boring sometimes.” – Heather, backer via goodreads.
“The protagonist was likeable and interesting, being a Hellboyish “big scary guy with enormous gun that is actually very nice once you know him”. All the action scenes were cool and the little horror stories through the book were deliciously creepy.” – Felipe, via goodreads.
Most of the reviews have been 3-star, and I’m pretty pleased with that (couple of 3.5s, a 4, and a 5 as well). The full reviews were very constructive and I appreciated it a lot. I actually ended up talking with Heather more in-depth after she volunteered on facebook to read the short story I was working on for submission to a magazine and some of the perceived harshness of her full review was altered. The biggest thing I’m happy about is how well received the characters were and that, despite what could be counted as a rough start, everyone seems to be fully on board for seeing more of Grimluk.
And boy oh boy, you’re gonna see a lot more of him in the next one.
A Demon in the Desert Soundtrack.
I’d meant to do this a long while ago and finally got it done. The following is an “official” soundtrack for the book, which you can listen to on youtube or view at the end of the post. The two songs of note are “One Bad Ho-Tep,” which worked well as the Demon’s theme, and “Redneck Stomp” which is Grimluk’s theme. If you’ve read the book, you can probably imagine why “God Send Death” is included where it is.
01 – “Big Bar Fight” by Greg Edmonson (Firefly)
02 – “Raiford (The Felon Wind)” by Earth
03 – “Chief And The Blade” by 3 Inches of Blood
04 – “One Bad Ho-Tep” by Brian Tyler (Bubba Ho-Tep)
05 – “The Dry Lake” by Earth
06 – “Redneck Stomp” by Obituary
07 – “Humanity, Pt. 1” by Ennio Morricone (The Thing)
08 – “Left in the Desert” by Earth
09 – “Bog of Lost Souls” from God of War 2
10 – “Lamprey Attack” by Peter McConell (Brutal Legend)
11 – “Contemplations of the Endless Abyss” by Karl Sanders
12 – “Vulgrim” by Scott Morton (Darksiders)
13 – “Strange Moment” by Scott Morton (Darksiders).
14 – “Fight ‘Em Til You Can’t” by Anthrax
15 – “God Send Death” by Slayer
16 – “The Trio” by Ennio Morricone (The Good, The Bad, & The Ugly)
17 – “Death Rattle” by Ennio Morricone (Once Upon A Time In The West)
18 – “Colorless Sky” by Tsuneo Imahori (Trigun)
19 – “Long, Long Time Ago” by Javier Navarrete (Pan’s Labyrinth)
20 – “Journey’s End” by Jeremy Soule (Skyrim)
