It’s July. April, May, and June feel like they flew by. Some of that was some good life stuff happening. Some of that was the continued onslaught of fascists fashing everywhere. Some was just the weather. But, here we are, about to celebrate Legal Explosions Day. I’m now 40, I had an amazing birthday, and I managed to hit an important goal. If you’re curious about my reflections on hitting the big Four Oh, you can check the Patreon for a free post about that.
So, the biggest piece of news is that The Secrets of Bloodhenge is over the 50K word mark. Brilliant. Took me longer than I thought but I hit a point in the story that also makes me feel confident that I can finish the first draft by November. I think this book is going to end up longer than previous Grimluk books, and the second draft is going to have a lot of work but honestly, the first draft is the hardest. That’s exciting. I let a friend do some beta reading too and despite the current mess, she let me know she kept forgetting to take notes because she was so engaged. That was also a much-needed morale boost.
In other good news, it looks like I should be able to get some very important artwork bought soon. My side gig has been decent enough, and along with some new and temporary patrons, I haven’t been quite so broke lately. It’s been nice. Hopefully I can get that squared away and debuted in the fall.
Not much else to talk about currently outside of the usual “what the fuck is going on in the world” shouts and tirades. I just don’t have the energy for that right now. I don’t feel like being a doomsayer. Support your communities, practice mutual aid, show radical kindness to yourselves and others, love, empathy, and kindness in all things.
Howdy, y’all. Wait, this isn’t a Grimluk related post, I should do that again. Hail and well met, friends. It is once more time for the Letter of News. I hope you’re all doing well. Let’s get goin.
Music
First up, I shared Neon Odin’s “Allfather” album last time. This time, especially with what’s below, it seems smart to share one of the major driving forces for writing this book: Bear McCreary’s Masters of the Universe: Revelation soundtracks (volume 1 and volume 2). Both sides offer a variety of pieces for a variety of moods that fit the show wonderfully. It’s orchestral, bombastic, epic, with a metallic edge thanks to McCreary incorporating heavy guitars throughout. “He-Man Transforms” is a theme that runs throughout most of the bigger pieces too. The guitars and horns work so well together that it’s hard not to get hyped when Adam says the words and calls down the Power. Volume 2, similarly, has “Birth of the Savage“, a shift in the “Transforms” theme when Adam decides to call down the Power without the sword. Sure, Savage He-Man is basically the Hulk, but you see, I’m a huge Hulk fan and the driving drums feel so good for any barbarian writing. Just really makes you wanna punch a Skeleton Wizard in the face, ya know? But hey, if you’re familiar with McCreary’s work at all, then that’s not surprising. He’s REALLY good at his job. And this is not the last time you’ll see him mentioned for the Gruflek series considering he’s done the Norse saga God of War soundtracks and Godzilla: King of Monsters. He knows how to give some damn good barbarian/warrior themes. Highly recommended these two volumes and I’m hoping we’ll get one for Revolution volume 1 as well, though that seems unlikely at the moment.
News
Now, to business. The first book in the Gruflek the Crimson series is over the 26,000 word mark. Part of me is frustrated that I’m not farther along after six months but I also haven’t whole hog written a book since the second draft of By Demons Be Driven in 2020. The past four years have been hard so the fact that I’m this far is still cause to celebrate. It’s just hard not to worry about being able to bounce back after four years between releases (provided I CAN get this thing funded and out by next October). My saving grace, I think, is that even with with my neverending quest to mash genres together, this one has a more conventional genre at its core. Science Fantasy that still leans heavily on the Fantasy in ways that will be much more recognizable than “orc gunslinger,” ya know? No matter how heavily I lean into the Fantasy elements with Grimluk, I still have to get through the average reader’s disinterest in Westerns. But Gruflek? A big ol’ orc holding a magic sword aloft is a much easier sell in the Fantasy market.
Which brings me to the next order of business: the public reveal of the title and logo for this book. I think I’ve still got some tweaking to do with it but it’s 98% complete and I’m still in love with it. On top of that, I have a logo for the series as well, which may also get some extra work, but as a brand thing, I’m happy with it so far. (And hey, if you haven’t seen already, hit up the Grimluk page and check out his fresh new series logo as well!) I already revealed these on Patreon, so some of you may have seen them already but here we go! First, the series logo.
I played around with a variety of different styles for that one. At first, I went for a metallic look but I never could get it to look right and then I remembered something I tried with the title logo and combined that with some inspiration from the aforementioned soundtracks (the word Revelation as seen on the album cover), which produced this. Part of me wonders if I should do a taller, stacked version or just a tall version of this but I like it. As for the title…
Gruflek the Crimson, book 1, The Secrets of Bloodhenge! I’m so stinkin proud of how this turned out. I think I want to tweak the bloodstone inner some, just to add some bigger veins in certain areas, but it turns out, if you take a marble block and turn the veins red, it looks really good. And the gold border is mostly from a tutorial I found on youtube from TextureLabs, with a generous amount of tweaking to make my particular use case work. At first, I wanted something with an iridescent rainbow sheen, but I never could figure out how to make that work. I tried silver too, but when I tried the gold, everything just popped.
And hey, let’s talk about that title: The Secrets of Bloodhenge. I already knew that Bloodhenge was going to be my Grayskull, thanks in part to a friend of mine telling me to use the name from a location sacred to an orc clan in his D&D homebrew setting. I needed something evocative. I was stuck, originally, on something to do with the Crimson Blade of Blank or the Crimson Warrior of Blank. The more I workshopped titles, I finally realized I needed to pull further inspo from He-Man. What is it Skeletor has spent so much time trying to gain? The secrets of Grayskull! And I’ve said this before, just from a pure, instinctual reaction, Castle Grayskull is fucking metal. It sounds cool, feels cool, LOOKS cool. Bloodhenge will look metal and sound cool (I hope), and currently, it’s a secret thing. Gruflek is going to spend most of the book just getting there. It’s hidden and ancient and little is known about it. Just a legend. I typed it out in that font and it just CLICKED. Now here I am, 26 thousand words into the story and finally sharing the title and the logo with the public.
I’m still very excited about this book. Some days I only manage a small amount of words and others, much more, but I’m making progress. I’m still wondering if this one might end up around the 100K mark when it’s all finished. We’ll see.
That’s all I really have to tell at the moment. Grimluk 5 also has a title but is still very much in preproduction. I haven’t manage to do much work on it at all and I’m still debating switching gears to the space western book instead but as it stands now, I can still only manage one book at a time. Take care of yourselves and have a good summer!
It’s been a…few months since I posted anything over here. Last year was kind of a lot. Like…a lot. My partner spent the first half of the year dealing with health problems but we didn’t know they were health problems until mid-July. I spent most of the fall trying to fix some health stuff that turned out to be medication side effects. As some of you may know, I’m diabetic. I’ve been trying to get a handle on my blood sugar again and part of that was being put on Ozempic. You might recognize that as the hot new fad weight loss drug. It is, in fact, a diabetes medication. It also fucking sucks. Do not recommend.
After that, my social life took an unexpected but very welcome shift. I’ll talk about that another time as the road getting to this shift is its own story. But it’s all good stuff.
And what else has happened? Well, I posted most of what I went through over on Patreon. I spent part of the summer being productive until the Ozempic fully knocked me on my ass and once I got off that I started dealing with some of my issues with my lack of writing and the giant fucking wall of suck I felt stuck behind. I wrote about those struggles here. After that, I basically spent November and December trying to think and enjoy the new people in my life and soak up all the time I could with them.
And early December, something finally shook loose. That wall of suck fell away. The size of it even shrunk. And a few things finally clicked into place for one of projects I’d been trying to get off the ground. You can read about all that here. I finished the year feeling good, feeling hopeful, and ready to go. And hey, wouldn’t ya fuckin’ know it, giving myself a little grace with my word count goals as I get back into the swing of things has been good and I’ve got the first 1500 words down for this new book. The He-Man/Stargate/John Carter mashup idea I’ve talked about previously. I’ve also got the next Grimluk book in preproduction. I’m hoping to get them both done this year but I’m more focused on the new character at the moment so we’ll see.
So that’s pretty much all the noise that’s worth sharing at the moment. At least without getting into lots of details and I don’t feel like digging into all that and you probably don’t want to read it. So here’s to a potentially great 2024. Despite everything that’s happening with the socio-political-economic climate…and the literal climate, I going to make this year a good one for me personally. Here’s hoping you can do the same.
What’s up, my lovelies. Hope you’re doing well. Hope you’re not roasting alive in the summer heat. It’s currently a big fat 100F here in Tulsa and I hate it.
So, some updates. Diabetes is gettin managed. Been doing rehab on my shoulder and making progress. Started rehab on my legs, slower progress but also only started two weeks ago and I’ve been trying to figure out my daily schedule. Sleep is mostly good, though I’m wondering if I’ll need to do another sleep study next year. Therapy is going well.
So, if you didn’t see on Twitter or even Tumblr, I’ve posted a few stories up on Patreon based on writing prompts from r/writingprompts. They’ve been fun and a nice, easy way to get back into the groove of things. I’m still struggling a bit with choosing a new novel project to start. Most of that struggle is the same as it has been but with less burnout and more just struggling to figure out what I want. It’s a bit frustrating.
Currently trying to decide between Grimluk 5, and the Orc John Carter Stargate He-Man thing. Though one of the Patreon stories could also be a thing pretty easily now but I would definitely want that one to be a comic book so I’d have to track down an artist and that seems like a lot of work right now. We’ll see where I land. Worst case, I’ll pick something for Nanowrimo and just run.
Oh and I also deleted my discord server. It mostly saw use while I was trying to be a streamer and had sat dead for a year. That’s fine.
Anywho, figured I should send one of these out about now. Take care of yourselves in this heat. Go watch My Adventures With Superman. And don’t forget to be excellent to each other and party on.
I’m copying this from Patreon because it pretty well covers everything I need to say for my writing career as a whole right now.
For those who don’t know, I caught Covid at the end of September, likely at a concert I went to. I WAS wearing a mask but I was also dealing with some medication issues that meant I HAD to try to hydrate while at the show. Unfortunately, my Pull-Down-Mask-And-Hold-Breath-While-Drinking game is not amazing so I ended up getting hit. While the physical symptoms weren’t awful, feeling like a pretty typical chest cold, it did scramble my brains and hit me with fatigue. And while the fatigue is finally passing, my breathing has stayed a bit rough. That, too, is starting to wane, so hopefully I will have no physical issues with Long Covid.
My mental health, on the other hand, is in the garbage. I’m a bit better than I was the first week of October, but the depression hit hard and has only slightly let up. And I fucking mean slightly. Which also means I’m doing some self-evaluations right now and I’ve come to a sad conclusion.
I don’t have any more words in me right now. I worked on By Demons Be Driven for roughly three years, start to release, and I’ve gotten some preproduction done on some projects but every time I squeeze out some more words, right now, that’s it. I was thrilled when I spent part of a Saturday a few months ago starting a Mr. Freeze fanfic idea I’ve had for close to a decade, but I haven’t touched it since. I was thrilled when I got Episode 1 of To Hehk With This written and (somewhat) edited for y’all, but there has been only few bits of character ideas done since then. The thought of trying to write another short story, much less a whole ass book, is repulsive. I think I managed to suck all the joy out of writing for the foreseeable future.
So what does this mean for Patreon?
It means we live in a capitalist hellscape and I at least need a consistent $80 bucks a month to cover car insurance and I have nothing to give back for your patronage right now. I know quite a few of you are friends just happy to support me but that’s not all of you. So if you want to cancel your pledge until I’m creating again, I understand and will not blame you one bit. The most I can offer right now is chronicling my health journey. This year has been a year of changes and setbacks and obstacles for me in a variety of ways. I’ve spent the past week struggling with even making this post because of the sheer guilt and shame I’m feeling.
Maybe I’ll end up trying to do other artistic endeavors and I can share those, but for right now, I’m spent. I’m barely getting chores done. I’m happy maybe getting back in the gym next week will do me some good, but considering I’ve struggled all year to make new words, I think it’s safe to say I’m actually truly burnt the fuck out.
I’m thankful everyone’s been pretty patient with me this year but I need to actually focus on myself for a while instead of kind of doing that while going “any day now I’ll write something again” and squeezing stuff out like the remnants of a tube of toothpaste.
It’s been five years since I published A Demon in the Desert. Some time after I put it out, I blogged about everything I’d learned from. Five years on, those things still hold true but I’m not taking active lessons from it anymore. It serves as a very mixed gateway into the life of Grimluk and his adventures, with some people loving it and a few thinking it’s garbage. It’s a first book. And I don’t know what else to say on it.
I could talk about how sometimes I think about rewriting it but my desire to let it stand, as its own thing and as a sign of where I started mostly wins out there. It will stand as it is.
I could talk about how my friend, Krista Ball, told me about the five-year issue. It takes five years before you really get anywhere. But my fifth year is also the year of COVID-19 and I still only have three books. By Krista’s fifth year, she had 12 books out (or, as she put it when I asked, “A lot, and probably not enough, but also way too much.”). In self-publishing, quantity DOES matter, at least more than in traditional publishing. It’s also not smart to compare my journey to someone else’s. While Krista’s level of success is where I’m aiming, I’m also not her and I don’t write what she writes. Also at least one of those was a non-fiction and those always sell.
The truth is…this doesn’t feel like a big deal to me anymore. I’ve written and published three books and written a fourth that just needs the money for editing, proofing, and artwork (along with another couple of drafts). Releasing a book is still a big deal. Releasing a book is a big, nerve-wracking event where I push another piece of my very silly soul out into the world for people to consume, come what may. But the march of time? Not really.
The biggest thing about having been doing this for five years now is that…I can’t see myself not doing it anymore. Paying for the publishing sucks and is the hardest part of this, followed by marketing, but I love doing this. I love writing. I love creating. I love entertaining and it still makes me feel real. So even with COVID-19 rolling around, and the US absolutely DUNKING on itself, that hasn’t changed. Sometimes I feel like I’m being frivolous writing Grimluk and not like, some politically-charged, current events commentary sci-fi story. Which is kind of silly considering Grimluk is politically-charged in a different way. Part of a recent review for The Demons Within read:
I also like how Ashe has pretty seamlessly incorporated queerness and gender diversity into these books. In that respect, I do actually think I’d recommend these as good fantasy for middle school age queer/trans teens and early high school age queer/trans teens. Though gender and sexual diversity aren’t the main focus, Ashe incorporates them in a way that makes them feel normal and a part of the world, rather than make those characters anomalies or always in danger of persecution and ridicule. Not many other fantasy series featuring genderqueer orcs or queer elven or dwarven couples as a normal and accepted part of the world!
And that is a huge thing for me with this. So, sure, it’s trash adventure stuff but I’m still putting myself and my friends into it. Even if I was just writing pure adventure trash, oh well, people need that sometimes.
I’m just gonna keep going. In another five years, I’ll reflect on a decade as an author. Hopefully I’ll find 2025 a more welcoming place. A more stable and secure place. Here’s hoping we all do.
Now, given that I wasn’t really sure what to talk about and have rambled, mostly, I’m happy to answer any questions anyone has. I know most of you don’t really read these, but if you do, and something pop up, leave a comment or tweet at me or whatever and I’ll compile them together in a Q&A.
Figured it was time to share a bit more of Demon Haunted with everyone. But first, some news!
Most of everything I’ve been working on with Demon Haunted is basically done. At this point, I have a few little things to finish with some image stuff and that’s it. Demon Haunted is being proofread, the first print proof arrives tomorrow, and everything’s shaping up and looks like it’ll be ready with some wiggle room before October. Whoo!
Secondly, I’ve started Grimluk 3 and I’m already nearly 2500 words in. That’s pretty exciting. Hopefully, I can get the first draft for this one done pretty quick and then start on book 4 as well. But hopefully, when folks start reading Demon Haunted, they enjoy themselves. Otherwise there won’t be a huge point in trying to put out more Grimluk, eh?
Anyways, on with the snippet! Again, no spoilers for the main plot, just a nice scene I’m fond of. Fair warning as this one is more on the disturbing side than the last one. If you’re not fond of snakes or some body horror…
Firstly, apologies for not following up my Ghostbusters post for the second movie. I’ll be doing a review of the remake though, once I see it. But for now, I thought a nice piece of Demon Haunted might be in order, at least beyond the first chapter. I will, of course, post snippets with no spoilers to the main plot. Mostly, these will be interesting bits and bobs from the first half of the book. This first teaser introduces the Hanging Judge himself. Enjoy!
Ashe Armstrong 