The Journey

I have been trying to write this for two weeks now. I’m sure part of it is finally starting rehab on my shoulder. My daily schedule has shifted a lot since we moved. My blood sugar’s been bad, with my A1C having gone up a few points since my last visit. But here I am, finally making the words. Because I wanted to talk about where I’m going with writing right now. It’s a journey. I guess this is part of my process right now, so, why not share with y’all.

I’ve made it clear that I’ve been struggling since finishing By Demons Be Driven. Squeezed a few words out here and there last year, but always falling away again. Prepped two different books to write in ’21 and ’22 only to lose the drive again. I don’t lack ideas, at least. God, I’ve got a whole document full of ideas. Thought of a new one last night as I was falling asleep. I’ve currently got concepts for another 5 or 6 Grimluk books, the cyberpunk sword and sorcery book (trilogy? I think?), and the Stargate He-Man John Carter series. The latter two, if you’ve forgotten, would be set in Grimluk’s universe, with the former staying on Arkod, and the latter taking off for sword and planet adventures. Orcs at the forefront of both. I’ve also considered going ahead and doing Grimluk 5 like I’d originally planned before starting something new. I’ve got a big chunk of that book fleshed out in my head already and have for a long time now.

I’ve also been chewing on the idea of trying my hand at Romance. Whether an old idea or a new one, I don’t know. I’ve considered writing a romance series for Grimluk’s parents, Bakhor and Urgroz. Or maybe Emerald and Yara from Demons Within. And if I ever re-write “From Tusk ’til Dawn”, the orc lead and elf saloon girl could fit as very Buffy-style “urban” fantasy, helped along by the fact that I fully plan on bringing those two back for a Grimluk-fights-gender-swapped-Dracula book down the line (I told you I’ve got a lot of ideas for him).

And hell, I could easily finish some of the worldbuilding for the Battle of the Bands campaign and use that for a book setting too! I am absolutely fucking swimming in ideas and concepts for new books, even comics if I could find an artist who wanted to work together and get something rolling.

No, that is definitely not the problem, my friends. The problem is everything feels pointless to write. Frivolous, even. The old world is dying, straining with all its might to maintain power, one last gasp of hideous life to snuff out the new world before it can be born. We’re living in a system that demands blood, milk, and honey from a handful of gravel. The great irony being NOW needs stories most especially. So here I sit, struggling with executive dysfunction in one hand, and some unholy combination of ennui, existential overload, guilt, shame, and frustration in the other. It is incredibly difficult to pick a direction to go creatively when I feel so disconnected from life. Feeling pretty connected to myself thanks to a really good therapist and we’re starting to work on this, too.

I don’t know. I just thought maybe I’d share where I am. What I’m doing. Where I’m going. I hope life’s treating you well. May your struggles be few right now.